the last kiss

"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts."

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Ich hasse ganze statt halbe Fehler.

You know I gave you the world
You had me in the palm of your hand

So why your love went away
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you babe
Me and you until the end
But I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way

Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way it's really going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find...

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around

Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now
And maybe
I should do the same
Funny thing about that is
I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you, babe
And now, it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong

Don't want to think about it
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it
I just can't do without ya
Can you tell me is this fair?

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
That's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around



What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that
What goes around comes around
Yeah
What goes around comes around
You should know that

Don't want to think about it (no)
Don't want to talk about it
I'm just so sick about it
Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it
Feeling the blues about it (yeah)
I just can't do without ya
Tell me is this fair?

Is this the way things are going down?
Is this how we say goodbye?
Should've known better when you came around (should've known better that you were gonna make me cry)
That you were going to make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
'Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby 'cause in time you will find

What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around



Let me paint this picture for you, baby..

Jedenfalls bin ich total verwirrt und weiss nicht ob ich meine Wut und meinen Ärger rauslassen soll,
ob ich Verständnis zeigen müsste und vergeben sollte,
ob ich einfach vergessen und abschließen muss
oder ob ich einfach warte bis die Zeit die Wunden einfach heilt.

Mein Herz hat jedenfalls so dolle gepocht.Die ganze beschissene Nacht hat es ganz schnell gegen meinen Brustkorb geklopft und einfach keine Ruhe gegeben,also würde es sich eingeengt fühlen und raus wollen,weil es keinen Platz und keine Luft mehr da drinnen hat.genau wie ich keinen Platz in diesem scheiß kleinen Zimmer hatte und keine Luft mehr bekommen hab.
Ich hab versucht ruhig zu sein.Nachzudenken.Es sachlich zusehen.
Aber es hat nicht aufgehört.Es fing richtig an zuziehen und wehzutun.Ich hab manchmal gehofft das es einfach mal kurz aufhört und stehen bleibt.Nur für einen Moment wie tot sein,damit ich dann mit guter Laune in ein neues supidupi Leben starten und genau so scheiße sein kann wie der Rest der Welt.

Heute früh hab ichs mir nochmal durchgelesen.Nach einer Nacht in der ich kein Auge zubekommen hab und mein Herz immer noch verdammt scheiße doll geklopft hat.Einfach um es nochmal zu realisieren.
Ich hatte Brechreiz,mich hast's geschüttelt,ich hab gezittert und ich hab noch schwerer Luft bekommen.
Zuletzt gings mir so dermaßen beschissen als ich einen verfickten vereiterten Blinddarm hatte.

Es kreisen soviele Gedanken in meinem Kopf rum,die ich nicht fassen oder ordnen kann.
Und mein Herz tut scheiße so weh.Es drückt und zieht ganz dolle.Und es pocht.Es pocht ganz dolle.Einfach zu dolle.
Ich hasse so verschissene Herzrhytmusstörungen.Ich hasse es das meine Emotionen auf meinen Körper überschlagen.

Und ich bemüh mich so, einfach klar zusehen und zudenken.Und mich nicht in blinden Hass zuverrennen.

1.8.08 11:25


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